You're So Vain?

A week or so ago, I was staying at a hotel that had three mirrors over the sink. One was direct on and the other two showed each side which you could view from the center mirror.

I had to look twice. All of a sudden I saw the makings of an old man. I'm less than a year away from Medicare, but I never thought I looked old. Well, now I know.

I know I've got a bald spot on the back of my head. The top has been thinning very quickly. Pattern baldness runs in my family, so it doesn't bother me. I'm certainly not into comb overs.

I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life, about 180-185 lbs. I really ought to be about 155 or so. But I've always been chunky. I'm built like a tree stump. A short tree stump.

But I never really noticed the age thing until I looked into that mirror. With guys, the tell tale signs are more hair in the ears than on the head. Andy Rooney style eyebrows are a dead give away too. Gray hair? Most of us get it. Some sooner than others. Most of mine is gray. And, of course, the yellowing of the teeth. If you see an older person with pearly whites, you can almost bet they're not real.

Then there's hair growing on the outside of the nose. Aw yuck! It really does grow there. Fortunately they are rare and usually just one or two hairs at a time. They are easily plucked and not a huge problem.

But the real sign is in the area just below the chin and above the torso. Yep. For real. The jowls start to droop, and lines appear on and around the throat. Oh yeah, lots of lines. Looks like I slept on some tangled up fishing line.

Does it bother me? Nah. Growing older is part of life. But I am contemplating getting a crew cut to minimize the attention drawn to the bald spot. Oh shoot, would that be a sign I'm vain?