Don't Even Think About It

I have often said there are two things you don’t order in the Ozarks; barbeque and Mexican food.

It’s awfully difficult to have good Mexican food without a supply of honest to goodness Mexicans. Maybe there are a few in the Ozarks, but I’d guess they are few and far between and certainly not numerous enough to man a single restaurant.

There’s a place in Mountain View, Arkansas…population just under 3,000…called Tommy’s Famous. It’s a local pizza joint and purveyor of BBQ. Now Tommy is a hippie of sorts or at least claims to be. He says he grew up in South Memphis within sniffing distance of Leonard’s BBQ. In addition, he says his pizza is of the award winning variety.

If you go to his website ( www.tommysfamous.com/ ), you can see proof of the accolades. That’s all fine and good. I’ve eaten at Tommy’s Famous about a half dozen times. To me the proof is in the pudding and this pudding lacks a whole lot.

The pizza is reasonably good, but far from great or the best in any given territory except maybe a two block radius of Tommy’s Famous. And lordy, if anybody in the neighborhood is heating up one of the frozen variety, Tommy’s may be in trouble with the comparison test.

Now Leonard’s BBQ is a Memphis icon. We’re talking prize winning, finger licking good, smoked, tender ribs with a special sauce. Some guy from South Florida ate at Tommy’s and declared his BBQ to be outstanding. Heck, what do south Floridians know about BBQ? Really, how many BBQ shacks do you see in Florida?

Take my word for it. I have eaten plenty of Memphis BBQ and Tommy’s ain’t even close to the bottom of the list. I ordered Tommy’s ribs. Were there any smoke rings to prove it to be BBQ? Nope. In fact they tasted boiled with some kind of awkward seasoning thrown on for taste. And how about the sauce? I think it is whatever is on sale at one of the grocery stores that week.

To use Tommy’s Famous and Leonard’s in the same sentence or even on the same page should be a mortal sin.

There is a Mexican restaurant in Mountain View, but I think I know better than to try it. Likewise, I should have adhered to my own advice and stayed away from the BBQ.

My original advice still stands. Don’t order Mexican or BBQ in the Ozarks.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

If you happen to be coming by on Christmas Eve, I sure hope you’ll drop off a new digital camera for me. My old one still works, but, hey, so does my old Brownie Hawkeye camera. I really want one that has most of the bells and whistles as well as an automatic mode.

Santa, I want you to know I have been extra good this year. And you know that you are one of my best friends. Yes sir, I tell everybody how wonderful and generous you are.

Santa, when you stop by we’ll have some cookies and milk for you. The cookies are special. You see our 8 year old daughter bakes them just for you. I’ve always told her she makes the best cookies in the world and you better eat them all or her feelings will be hurt. I’m not sure, but from the smell of things in the kitchen, I’d guess the cookies are on the well done side. Still, they’re mighty good.

And Santa, I’m going to leave you a big glass of milk. None of that low fat crap...genuine milk complete with enough butterfat to clog three arteries at once. You see, I wouldn’t want you to leave me a “low fat” camera that’s missing some of the bells and whistles because somebody thinks it’s better for me. No sir, and I know you always like the real thing. Oh yes, dipping those well done cookies in milk aids with the digestion.

Santa, I want you to know I have been particularly good this year. I only lusted in my heart and kept my car windows rolled up when cussing out the driver in front of me. I went to church too. On occasion, I listened to the sermon rather than working the cross word puzzle. And I didn’t complain about Miss Esther’s soprano solo at Easter cause I used those invisible ear plugs you left for me last year.

So Santa, please come to see me this year and try not to wake me up like you used to when I was nine or ten.

Your good buddy and friend forever,

Old Bopper

Really Real

Back when our oldest daughter was five years old, a mean little boy a few doors down told her there wasn’t a Santa Claus.

On Christmas Eve, we went to midnight services at church as usual. On the way home, about two blocks away, we drove by a house where there had apparently been a Christmas Eve get together.

Leaving out of the door of the house was the jolly old fat man himself with a full bag over his shoulder. Our daughter looked and perked up. We said, “Look, Santa Claus is close to your house. We better hurry and get in bed.”

When we got home, she ran into her room, dressed for bed and wanted her good night kisses so she could go to sleep immediately.

She told that mean little boy that he fibbed, because she and her Momma and Daddy saw Santa coming out of a house in the neighborhood on Christmas Eve.

Yes indeed, he is real.

A Christmas Never Forgotten

The Christmas I most remember was the Christmas of 1961. I was at Navy boot camp at Great Lakes, Illinois. There was lots of snow and plenty of cold weather with the wind coming off frozen Lake Michigan.

Christmas Eve was like any other day in boot camp. We finished our training just before supper time and went to eat. We marched back to the barracks and were told we would have Christmas Day off from training, but we could not leave the barracks except to march to chow.

As the evening set in, it dawned on the 80 of us that it was the first Christmas away from home for most. There were no presents and very few Christmas cards. We were in a WWII style barracks which was two story and built in an H configuration with the heads (bathrooms) and laundry rooms located in the middle part of the H.

Anyway after taps at 10:00 p.m. we were all lying in our racks (bunks) and most of us were restless. So it was decided that we would get a Bible and read the Christmas Story aloud. We couldn’t turn on the lights, but there were plenty of Zippo cigarette lighters around.

So we gathered up ten or twelve lighters and I read the Christmas Story from the Gospel of Luke to the rest of guys in the barracks. After it was over, the Zippos were put away, and we all climbed back in our racks.

After a few minutes of silence, someone in a far corner of the barracks started singing Silent Night. In what seemed like a split second, everybody joined in. Then, we all went to sleep satisfied that we had properly celebrated Christmas. A 05:30 the next morning, we all gathered outside in the snow and marched about a mile to breakfast and then back to the barracks. We had free time until lunch and then until dinner and then until taps that evening.

When I look back on it many, many years later, I marvel at how a group of guys from all over the United States were able to bond together on Christmas Eve to celebrate the birth of Christ. It was a very meaningful Christmas which I have never forgotten.

All I Want for Christmas

When I was a child, my family was never rich. We weren’t dirt poor either. I think we fluxuated between lower middle class to upper middle class.

Like every family, we had our Christmas traditions. We always opened our gifts on Christmas morning, then dressed and went to my paternal grandparents house for Christmas Dinner. The family would all sit around after dinner to talk and the kids would usually go out to play.

Every Christmas I received one “large” gift and several smaller ones. I think my favorite gift of all time was a portable radio that I got in 1959. Portable radios were just coming into style. It was a rather large radio—about the size of a Sears catalog and used the big D batteries. It only picked up AM stations. Radios of that era were not equipped to listen to FM.

Before that, my favorite gift was a 45 rpm record player. It would play up to six records in a row. Songs were much shorter back then and six records would amount to about 15 to 18 minutes of music.

I liked recorded music then and I still groove on recorded music.

I knew of other kids who got gifts galore. They would get five or six “large” gifts. When we would see each other the day after Christmas they would always be telling about all their nifty presents…footballs, basketballs, bicycles, skates, board games, etc. Then they would ask me what I got. I learned early on to tell them, “I got everything I wanted”. It was the truth. My wants just weren’t as big as their wants.

Even today, when somebody asks me what I got for Christmas, I reply, “everything I wanted.” And today, as in years past, my wish list isn’t big or complicated. I enjoy giving much more than receiving.

But every Christmas I hear people bragging about all they received for Christmas. I’m glad they’re happy. I may not get as much, but I get “everything I want” and that’s enough for me.

An Era We Can All Remember

We all hear about the age of digital television coming in February. Countless public service announcements are running to remind people. There's even been one five minute test where all analog programming ceased for five minutes so people would know if they are ready for the new digital age.

If you get your signal from satellite, you are ready for the change. If you get your signal from a cable company, you should be ready. However, some very small cable companies have not prepared for the deadline. If you are on Comcast, you are in good shape.

If you get your signal from an antenna or rabbit ears, you will need to purchase a converter to convert the signals to play on your analog television. You will not need a converter if your television uses a digital tuner or is currently receiving high definition pictures.

The reason I am saying all this is because I have been looking lately for a regular style television that will work on a cable system. Guess what? Those televisions are not for sale anymore. You cannot purchase a television with a picture tube. I was hoping to be able to get a tube set for a couple of hundred dollars for an elderly lady in a nursing home. Oh no, you get HDTV or nothing at all. I checked online ads, nothing. Best Buy and Circuit City don't handle them any longer.

So say good bye to another era....the era of tube televisions. Progress refuses to stand still.

Here's three pictures I want to share. They aren't posted in the order I'd like for them to be published, but what the heck.

The first picture is of our home from the back, the second is of the front, and the third is MsBlondie in the Brandon Christmas Parade.

Reduction In Force

I am absolutely appalled at the venom being spewed on the Clarion-Ledger’s web site about the announced layoffs.

People are blaming everything they can think of as the reason for the actions. People are degrading the severance benefits offered by the Clarion-Ledger. People are suggesting people who they think should get the ax.

It’s time to get real. If you don’t write out the paychecks for the Clarion-Ledger employees, you don’t get to pick and choose who you want to let go. If you don’t hire those being laid off or fail to personally increase their severance benefit package, then you are not in a position to judge their benefits.

Layoffs are not the caused by the employees themselves. Layoffs are due to economic conditions. They are not the employees’ fault. Those being laid off are good faithful employees.

When is a good time for a layoff, before Christmas or after Christmas? There is not ever a good time for a layoff.

Having been in the position of having to lay off employees in a former job and having experienced a layoff myself, I can empathize with all involved from management on down. My heart goes out to them and I have only good wishes for the future they face.

All of you will be in my prayers. Good luck and God’s blessing upon each you.